My office smothers me
every day the same workers' routine
I get up, brush my teeth
forget to stretch
From home to work
I slouch
What is left of the day
a mild schizophrenia
mood shifts
That I'm alive I don't assume
little deaths I go through
only lechery keeps me alive
Every night I pretend
I become lecherous
I turn to decadence
Once
a new life
it's possible
I conceived
drunk
on rum and xanax
anal sex
with a guy
I met that night
Afterwards
with x-rays
I burned
the little parasite
It was a metaphysical culture
set toward the beyond
Again on Sunday
on xanax and absinth
I crawled to my place
My head fell of on the way
rolled beside me
and got lost
And I headless and naked
with the toilet to welcome the morning
As it turned out later
it was a decadence
That beginners' freedom was lost
I gave up on love long ago
in lechery I recognized happiness
I masturbate on porn
with alcohol and drugs enjoy myself
destroy myself for the benefit of the world
Catastrophy is my religion
I went to Germany
to occupy myself with the world
but I saw the world
and kept the same
miserable thoughts
I exhaled light long ago
I hanged darkness on my windows
I cry the same cries
Only birds are louder
I either sank
Or I just dived deep
